Valentine’s Day Post

How do you tell someone you truly love them?

I’ve been thinking about this nearly constantly and wonder if it is a flaw or insufficiency in me that I never feel no matter how much I tell Kenneth I love him, I never feel it is enough. I feel it’s enough for him but not for me.

On this Valentine’s Day, we’re not able to be together (though we will be in less than a week) but we were able to talk as usual this morning. He sent me a picture of a lovely card but I don’t have one for him. I’ve never been one for cards per se as I tend to feel their not permanant expressions, I appreciate getting them but for me personally I always feel as if I need to really do something GRAND to show someone just how I feel.  I think psychologically it’s because of past hurts that I feel I must “make up for my flaws”.

In any event, while I’m pondering just how to show him how much I love and care for him, I found a Bible verse that for me helps.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

I’ve never (to my recollection) posted anything Bible related in any post I have ever written but this one is apt because I find it to be a very true statement about what Love (in it’s many forms) IS.

We have all been in relationships where jelousy, pride, rudeness and demands run amok. We’ve all been reminded of our wrongs or lost faith in our partner or ourselves, have failed to come through during a crisis in a relationship.  But you experience a deeper sense of love when the above circumstances are in place – where love has patience with your “flaws” and sees the beauty of your uniqueness. Where your partner is not jealous of others but rather is proud to be with you. Where your partner does not make demands, set ultimatums or have unreasonable expections. Where your Love is a key to a relationship of cherishing your partner in their uniqueness of spirit, their quirks, their failings, their triumps and their defeats.

What am I trying to say (your guess is as good as mine!)? I guess that Love is not judged by the tangible things you bring to a relationship but the intangile qualities both partners bring to the relationship and how they experience these things together, lovingly and without cruelty or judgement.

I may need to take this opportunity to cut this short and see what other inspirations come to me. I really do love Kenneth very deeply and I know, for probably the first time ever, that he loves me in return as much. What a gift that feeling is! What a gift to feel secure and safe with someone, not fearing their judgements of you. Too bad I am fearing my own, I tend to overcompensate or flounder altogether due to stressing myself out attempting perfection. I think the spirit teaches us as we mature that pefection is an illusion, strive for it but never expect to reach it because we are always perfecting! Life is the journey, not the destination.

Love – k